"Women can never worship Satan properly until they understand what makes men tick. This ritual begins with the mother and daughter showing homosexual porn videos to the father and brother. As the men become aroused, they remove their clothing and stand naked before the women. The father and son then perform mutually until they reach orgasm. As their seed falls to the floor, the women must catch it in little glass vials.
The vials are then heated over an open fire. As soon as the semen boils, LSD is added to it. Each family member then ingests a small amount of the mixture. Once everyone is tripping, the family takes turns branding each other with a hot cattle prod. Remember...any pain that may be experienced is imaginary. The ritual ends with the family playing "Jingle Jangle" on kazoos."